excerpt from television show ” Mustard Pancakes ” , this episode in production 2010
EXT. WOODS — DAY
OOGLEBERRY/ OLD FARMER pokes the coals of a roaring campfire.
He mumbles and laughs to himself. Two Russian travelers, MR.
D. / HUSBAND and TINY TINA/ WIFE, carrying heavy packs trudge
up to the fire.
COURTNEY (V.O.)
It was a cold and dark fall day. Two
weary travelers came upon a funny old
man in the woods who was warming
himself near a small fire pit. The
travelers had come all the way from
Russia to attend the very prestigious
“ Sweet Beet “ festival. That’s b-e-e-
t not b-e-a-t.
MR. D. / HUSBAND
Da!
TINY TINA/ WIFE
Da!
COURTNEY (V.O.)
They had traveled for many days and
were tired and cold. The couple put
down their packs.
MR. D. / HUSBAND
Please excuse, but could we share fire
and warm up for minute?
The Old Farmer looked them up and down with a smile and
decided that they could stay.
OOGLEBERRY/ OLD FARMER
Well ok, you look like decent folks.
Get close to the fire and warm up.
The Russians get closer and smile and enjoy the heat. An owl
HOOTS nearby and startles the Russians. The Old Farmer
laughs.
OOGLEBERRY/ OLD FARMER
(CONT’D)
Now, don’t you two fret! That’s just a
bullfrog.
COURTNEY (V.O.)
They are confused as it sounded like
an owl and not a bullfrog.
HUSBAND
In Russia, owl makes hoot sound.
WIFE
Da.
Oogleberry/ Old Farmer points to a bullfrog sitting on a
nearby rock. Oogleberry/ Old Farmer cackles with laughter.
OOGLEBERRY/ OLD FARMER
I think the best way to explain is to
tell you the legend of the Old Farmer.
Would you like to hear the story?
The Russians nod.
COURTNEY (V.O.)
(sarcastically)
What else could they do? It was his
fire that they warmed themselves with.
WIFE/ HUSBAND
Da!
OOGLEBERRY/ OLD FARMER
Well, it all started twenty-five years
ago…
COURTNEY (V.O.)
The old man spoke of a farm not far
away that belonged to a farmer who
liked to play jokes on people and
invent things. The farmer was always
trying to develop tastier drinks for
his farm animals.
OOGEBERRY/ OLD FARMER
One day he accidentally mixed up the
ingredients and didn’t notice what had
happened. He called his latest drink
recipe his “ special “ tea and gave it
to his animals.
The Russians became more and more interested.
COURTNEY (V.O.)
The animals loved this new drink and
so the farmer left it out in big bowls
for them to drink whenever they
wanted.
OOGLEBERRY/ OLD FARMER
Of course lots of wild animals had
access to the tea as well just like
that…
The Russians gasp. In the forest an owl HOOTS.
HUSBAND/ WIFE
Just like bullfrog!
Oogleberry/Old Farmer chuckles.
OOGLEBERRY/ OLD FARMER
Da.
COURTNEY (V.O.)
The tea had an unexpected side affect.
It mixed up all the animals voices.
MR. D. / HUSBAND
So Bullfrog hooting like owl?
Oogleberry/ Old Farmer nods.
TINY TINA/ WIFE
Owl croak like bullfrog?
OOGLEBERRY/ OLD FARMER
(laughs)
Ribbet!
A mouse runs by and at the same time a mountain lion growls
nearby. They all jump back in fright.
COURTNEY (V.O.)
The old man continues with the legend
and explains that no one ever goes to
the farm because their voices might
get mixed up.
OOGLEBERRY/ OLD FARMER
So be careful when you’re on your way
to the “ Sweet Beet” festival.
(looks at the fading daylight)
It’s getting late, you folks had
better be on your way.
COURTNEY (V.O.)
The very frightened Russians get their
packs and thank the old man for the
fire and strange information. To show their
appreciation, they give him some beet jerky.
MR. D./ HUSBAND
You have beet jerky, is Russian delicacy!
COURTNEY (V.O.)
The old man gratefully accepts. He
takes a big bite and pretends to enjoy
the jerky. After the Russians have
gone he grimaces and spits it out.
OOGLEBERRY/OLD FARMER
Yuck!